Today is my sitter’s birthday (Happy birthday, Mrs. Patterson!) so I’m home on vacation leave with the boys. Earlier this week I was so excited about the day and how I had it all planned out. We would start the day with some morning snuggles in bed followed by pancakes, reading, a little Toy Story then lunch and so on… Let’s just say it hasn’t worked out like that. Instead of being the happy stay-at-home for a day Mom, I’ve been the feel like a rodeo cowboy, kid wrangling, Mom. I was quickly becoming frustrated because my boys weren’t fitting into my idea of our perfect day together; how dare they act like such children and mess up my plans! Then it hit me that I should take some time and be silly with them. Let go of my expectations and control issues and just enjoy this time with my boys. Laugh, crawl and wrestle instead of always needing to be on a schedule and the one telling them that something is not nice. Why shouldn’t I embrace the place where I am?
The more I thought about my day with the boys and my new revelation, the more I realized I should apply this to my entire life. Lately I’ve felt like I’m constantly fighting to be happy and get things done. I’m increasingly frustrated that things are not working out the way I would like them to. I realized that God may be trying to tell me to relax and enjoy the journey more.
I’m a planner by nature so I like to have an idea of what I’ll be doing pretty much all the time. I like things to go in a certain order and we all know that doesn’t always happen with kids. A part of me is still fighting letting go of the need to plan and control things which is probably where my frustration was coming from today.
I’m slowly but surely learning to embrace the moment more. Not only the moments of each day but the moments in my life when I want to be further along than I am or things are not going exactly as I’d like them to. I now realize the frustration I’m feeling is my heart telling me to see the beauty in the moment; embrace where I am. There’s always something to be learned . Sometimes we have to look for it and sometimes it’s right in front of us. I find that not finding the beauty and lessons in those frustrating places of life often lead me back to that same place which leads me to believe there’s a lesson I need to learn before I can move on in my life. Embracing the place I am helps me learn those lessons so I can make progress towards greater things.
Today I realized that my boys won’t be toddlers always, that I’ll find time to put another load of laundry in the washer and that sometimes my plans aren’t the ones we need to follow. It’s a lesson I want to keep tucked in my heart forever.
What about you, are you embracing your place in life? Tell me about it.