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4.  What is your favorite wedding memory?                                                                        

 Rachel:  I have three favorite memories. We were waiting in the lobby of the hotel before the ceremony started and this little girl and her dad were walking by and the little girl was just staring and smiling at me. She said something to her dad about “princess” and it was just so sweet. The second is when the ceremony started and my dad started walking me down the aisle. We actually had to walk from the resort lobby through the pool area to the beach where the ceremony was. As we were coming down the stairs, everyone who was lounging started clapping and whooping for us. I was a mixture of embarrassed and excited! The third was at dinner. We didn’t have a normal reception but we did have a fancy dinner at one of the resort restaurants. Corey and I got so many compliments and congratulations from other people eating in the restaurant. It was like the whole day we were able to share with all of these friends that we didn’t really know but were happy for us anyway!

Corey:  As our wedding was more of a weeklong affair, it all blurs together as our wedding. Looking back, it was a fun-filled week with numerous enjoyable moments. It really all blurs together so it’s hard to pick one as a favorite.

5.  What is the key to making your marriage successful?

Rachel:  Hands down is communication, which we are still learning and working at. All of our major arguments/disagreements have been because of a simple misunderstanding or miscommunication. We also have been trying to learn to speak each others’ love language (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/). Corey is very analytical and practical and I am quite wild and emotional. The things that make him feel loved (me keeping the house clean, cooking his favorite meal, etc) are incredibly different from the things that make me feel loved (spontaneous hugs, telling me he’s proud of me, etc). I think a lot of couples run into problems not because their love for one another fades, but because they don’t feel loved by the other because they are both speaking different languages.

Corey:  Humor, communication, understanding

6. What are some of your favorite things to do together as a couple?                        

 Rachel:  We watch quite a few TV shows together… we love Castle, Big Bang Theory, Revolution, and Elementary. We tend to be homebodies, but he plays on numerous sports leagues so I like to go to his games and cheer him on!

Corey: We enjoy boating on our friend’s boat in the summer. Other times, spending time with our mutual friends.

7.  What would you tell the younger you on the eve of your wedding day?                

 Rachel:  I would tell myself that marriage takes a lot of work and learning but it is definitely worth it. Oh, and living with a boy can be really gross sometimes! 😉

Corey:  Enjoy this day/week. It all goes quickly and before long the real world is back at your doorstep. It is important to always reflect back on this moment in time and the happiness you experience together.

8.  What does LAW (love always wins) mean to you as a couple?

Answered together:  To us it basically means what it says it means. That even though sometimes life gets crazy, love is always there holding us together.

9.  How did you know your spouse was the right one for you?                                       

Rachel:   We were pretty much inseparable from the get-go, but at one point I really found myself planning my future with him in my mind. It’s kind of a hard thing to put into words, especially because I fell hard and fast for him and pretty much “knew” after only a couple of months! (But then we dated for three years before we actually got married.)

Corey:   Love is a choice to work hard and commit to a lifelong adventure with a special someone to join you. Rachel was ready for that commitment before I was, but I knew she made me happy and I wanted to spend my life with her.

10.  What is your best marriage advice for couples soon to be married or considering marriage?                                                                                                                                           

Rachel:  Sit down and have honest conversations. Conversations about life, goals, dreams. Your goals should probably be somewhat in alignment or you will be in a constant tug of war with each other. Definitely have conversations about money. Because Corey and I got married in Mexico, we didn’t have any pre-marriage counseling. BUT, we did take Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University a month after we were married and it was the best thing we could have done. A lot of divorces are due to financial problems in the marriage, and we had lots of conversations about money right at the beginning so we’ve been on the same team and working towards the same goals since day one, so we pretty much never fight about money. It’s great!

Corey:  Marriage is hard work. It’s important to remember why you chose this person to spend the rest of your life with. You will notice certain quirks in your partner that you never knew about, but it’s important to realize you have quirks of your own that might drive your spouse crazy. But it’s great because you always have someone to hang out with and enjoy life with.

Thanks Rachel and Corey for your honest and insightful answers!  Is it just me or could you tell which answer was a woman’s answer and which was a man’s answer without the name designations?

My 2014 word of the year is focus, building off my 2013 word which was pursue. In part one I gave a brief summary of what pursue meant for me in 2013 and why words are so important whether we know it or not.  Today I’m sharing what focus means specifically for me in 2014.

For me focus means: letting go and not focusing on what’s not important, things like:

• Excessive social media. I can only speak for me in that while I find social media entertaining, it’s not only a time drain but it can also be a bit of a Debbie Downer.  Studies have shown that while intended to bring people together, social media can actually alienate people and make them envious of other’s lives.  I’m not saying it’s all bad but for me, there definitely needs to be more of a balance.
• Other people’s opinions of me and what I do.  There will be no more holding back who I am and the things I love because I sense it makes others around me uncomfortable.  That’s called an unhealthy relationship when you can’t truly be yourself or share your likes with those close to you. That means it’s time to take another look at the relationship.
• Stuff (unnecessary material possessions)
• Learning to say no more.  This is a hard one for me y’all.  In the past, I’ve said yes to a lot of  things that were not necessarily bad but were not the best use of my time or energy.   Because of my need to please, fit-in, and be “in the know” (just being transparent here),  I’ve taken on things that I know weren’t a good fit for my life and because I took them on for the wrong reasons (see above) they became life/time drains and kept me from pursuing what was really important.

Focus also means more :

•  Time seeking God about His plan for my life and family. Not just doing what I think is right anymore.
• Creating and sticking to a schedule.  My days are usually not very organized which can be a disaster for someone who owns your own business and works from home
• Writing more handwritten notes & letters.  I love sending and receiving handwritten notes.  It’s not a must that people send them to me but I do enjoy receiving them.  There’s something so intimate and loving about it.  I want to pass the love on.
• Nurturing the relationships, people and things most important to me.
• Pushing past things that have held me back in the past like procrastination, fear of failure, and self-doubt.
• Learning something new.  I’m probably most excited about this one!  I love learning new crafts.  I’ve pledged to take another photography/styling class this year to improve on my ability to photograph tablescapes and creative ideas as well as a calligraphy class simply because I like it and I want to write more letters & notes!

I’m putting some of these goals out there not just to fill a blog post but also for accountability.  If you see me slacking in an area, call me on it  remind me of my promise to stay focused this year and beyond.

What about you, do you have a word or resolution for 2014 ?  I’d love to know what it is!